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edging away

i can’t care
but i want to though
i’m annoyed
or maybe just sad
but this feeling isn’t new
it’s something that i’m very used to

im angry
upset
and distraught
you can say

but why why do I have to be at-
why do i have to feel all this about you
you make me sad
for what reason

i become some receding into this mood

i can’t even drink the pain away ha
i have numbed myself to all types
of distractions
from what i wasn’t like anyway
maybe it was this way of thinking that caused my heart to break

maybe it was
but why does it
i can’t even think straight

and now i am here
slightly feeling something in my legs
and wishing

it’s always an argument with you
never a time for peace
i’m trying
i’m learning maybe it was supposed to be different but
no
i couldn’t help maybe i blame
someone
other than myself

because you were supposed to know and understand but i don’t want you to

you wouldn’t understand

i know you would which make it worse

i don’t want in

i don’t

and maybe i’m being selfish
to just give myself something

to feel sad about

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